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story sketch: the henchmen's hitch [update: 09-14-2011]

This is a scene from The Henchmen's Hitch, a poem by [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith about what happens when a pair of not-so-evil henchmen named Nib and Brod try to bring their master a magical sword.





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Crossposted from Dreamwidth. Comments are welcome either here or there.

Comments

Thank you!

I love the way the mountain and tower stretch up above them with that winding road.

The horses are supposed to be black, and ... hm, proportionally, quite a lot bigger. I'm not sure how that would mesh with the other details though.
http://media-files.gather.com/images/d714/d350/d745/d224/d96/f3/full.jpg

Re: Thank you!

Oh, yeah, I guess I ended up drawing ponies :P Whups. I'll fix that in the next version.

Re: Thank you!

Yeah, the horses, but also... I kinda expected Brod to be bigger, maybe even a little (forgive the pun) broader.

Re: Thank you!

Hmm ... maybe it would be easier to make Nib smaller? Which would make both Brod and the horses seem bigger, though I'm not sure how well the proportions would work out.

Re: Thank you!

That would work best to preserve most of the current composition, but those gates would have to be shrunk down some, too, or made to appear more Mordor-esque.
I kinda like Brod's expression. He appears very physically powerful and clearly not human, yet he's still kinda not all that malevolent looking. :)
Brod totally needs to be bigger to wrangle that sword. :) Making nib smaller might help, too. I like Brod's vest.
W00t! I'm glad to see Nib and Brod illustrated, since I enjoy Elizabeth's poems about them.

Yeah, Brod needs a few more muscles to handle that sword. In my original prompt, I think I described it as "a girder on a stick!" :D
I like Brod.

And I kept imagining Nib as a goblin, but he is apparently human. This helps remind me of that.

Wow!

This looks amazing. There is so much new detail! Nib and Brod look great, the horses are proportioned better, and I love the spiky ironwork on the gate. *happydance*
Oh, very nice! I love how you brought the people out into the foreground, in terms of what I noticed first. I also like the additions in the metalwork of the gate doors.

If you do another iteration, you should add stone texture to the blocks in the stone towers. You could also add either foliage or some rocks as texture around the path up the mountain.

Yes...

I agree, if later revision appears. Horses and their harness would benefit from more detail, along with stonework and path. Maybe the basalt tower too, but I'd leave that for last since it's the farthest away.
I like the recent update. The gate definitely looks more Mordor-esque and having the palace fill that upper left corner gives us the impression that it is immense compared to the first sketch. Adjusting the scale by increasing the size of the horses seems to work well, too.
Actually, it looks like you also made Nib smaller, too, which works.
I made Brod and the horses bigger, and made Nib a bit smaller and moved him forward slightly. Glad you like it :)
It works. :)
I like the larger horses, and the expression on Brod's face.